When my daughter was little, she was diagnosed with arthritis. She’s been doing quite well despite some periods when she has a lot of pain. Unfortunately, her illness has made it really hard for my husband and me. Although we both act as a team in front of her, we are really being torn apart by her health. We’re stressed by her dealing with the pain and we often end up blaming each other. Do other parents have the same problem?

It is not unusual for parents of children with either chronic diseases or chronic pain to have difficulties themselves. As parents, we want to protect our children and we feel that we should. When our children hurt, we hurt, and sometimes our reactions may not seem logical.

Although not a lot of studies have been done, it has been found that children who have chronic pain or illness may have more difficulty down the road if their parents are having difficulties of their own. So, it could be in your best interest as a family, to find a way to cope. This could be by talking to your daughter’s health care team or even seeing a counselor or family therapist to try to organize your thoughts and feelings.

It’s not unusual to feel out of sorts, but it helps if you try to get it all settled as much as possible.