My mother’s doctor seems like he’s giving up on her. My mother had back surgery and because she was depressed and frustrated from her pain, she didn’t go to too many physical therapy appointments. Her back isn’t much better and the doctor more or less told her if she didn’t go for physical therapy, she couldn’t expect much more from him. That doesn’t seem very fair.

People who have surgery for back pain often have had the pain for quite a while before the surgery is done. This means, that people experience a lot of pain and it affects their life significantly for a long period of time – long enough to feel angry, frustrated, or even depressed over how pain has changed what things can be done and how they are done.

It’s not uncommon for someone to be depressed following back surgery, much like your mother seems to be. The problem is, research has shown that people who are depressed tend to participate less in their recovery and, therefore, the chances of a full recovery are compromised. Although it is painful to go for physiotherapy, your mother has to take charge of her own health care. Doctors can prescribe medications and treatments, but patients are responsible for following up and actually participating. Most often, the patients who are active in their recovery, participating in treatments and following up, do much better than patients who sit back and wait for things to happen for them and to them.

If you can’t encourage your mother to look at the situation in a more positive light, sometimes counseling can help in this regard. In the meantime, her doctor has to understand why your mother isn’t participating and perhaps he can offer some suggestions.